Pretty much sums up my family.

Me: Did you know people could live off nothing but potatoes and water alone?
Mum: No way, that’s impossible.
Me: It’s not! People could live off nothing but potato. Just sacks and sacks of potato.
Mum: No. What about the protein? Where’s the protein in potato?
Me: I don’t know, but its there. I saw it on a science show, so it has to be true.
Dad: Oh, well I believe it. Potato is extremely healthy. Lots of healthy juices, in potatoes.
Mum: well what do you know
Grandma: Silence
Dad: You know, I eat a lot of raw potato, actually
Table: Silence
Me: You what?
Dad: Oh yeah, I do
Me: I have never seen you eat raw potato in my life. You’re lying. Stop lying.
Dad: I do! Whenever I’m chopping vegetables, I always sneak in a few slices of raw potato too. They’re yummy, and really good for you.
Mum: What? When have you done that? I haven’t seen you do that.
Dad: -satisfied nod.-
Me: Are you sure that’s healthy? Are you sure people are actually allowed to eat raw potato?
Dad: Of course they are! It’s great for you! Think of all those juices!
Mum: I eat a lot of raw carrot. It’s great with cheese
Me: Raw carrot is not the same as raw potato. It’s just not.
Grandma: Silence
Dad: People are obviously supposed to eat raw potato. I know a lot of people that do it
Mum: I have never met anyone else in my life that has eaten raw potato
Me: Neither have I. Nobody else eats raw potato, nobody
Dad: Just because Jesus didn’t do it why cant I do it?
Grandma: Silence
Me: I expect you think you’re starting a trend on this thing.
Dad: Oh, I am. I’ll be the first of many –smiles happily-
Mum: He eat’s sandwhiches for lunch alone on park benches too.