I cant be bothered thinking actual thoughts so heres something random I wrote a month ago that I cant really remember

I think I have gotten to age twelve and then just stopped doing anything.
It really seems the case. I mean, up until age 12 it was all going super great and in order of how it should be on the imaginary timeline of ‘how humans should live their lives.’ I had the friendship group, the sleepovers, the outings to Victoria Gardens, the fluorescent tracksuit pants and jay jays t-shirts. I had the year 5 boyfriend that lasted a week, and heck, I even went over to random kids houses to practice beading. But then I just sort of stopped, or something. I mean, I’d done the beading, I’d worn the fluorescent pink, and then I was sort of at loss as how we move on from there. When, exactly, do we jump from year 12 person that isn’t ashamed to go on shopping trips with their mum to some crazed teenager that gets drunk every night and, I don’t know, sneaks out of the house to meet people in parking lots where you.. What do people do in those parking lots? Sit and have a chat? Discuss knitting? I’m not sure. Probably get drunk and then all get each other pregnant while simultaneously stealing a television and…graffiting walls? Anyway. The point is. I wasn’t the one sitting in parking lots and discussing knitting. I was like… like a piece of kelp in a fishtank watching the fish. I mean, I was a fine piece of kelp, there was nothing at all wrong with my.. seaweedy green-ness, but I was no fish. And I didn’t really know how to be a fish. All the fish were swimming around me, and I was just staying still, chatting with other pieces of kelp and wondering what I had done to God to end up reincarnated as an immovable sea plant. Oh wait, it’s the Hindus that do reincarnation. My bad. And that was a terrible metaphor.