Should I stop caring? What is life if you dont care anymore? Does nothing really matter? Does everything matter? If I say anything I'm being a hypocrite. I care too much and I don't care at all. I'm dramatic about everything and I act like nothing matters. My life is one imbalanced mess. Too much of this, too little of that. The only consistency is misunderstanding but even that is a lie. Sometimes I feel like everything makes sense, like I have a hold on it all, other times I'm disoriented, muddled, baffled by all of it, all of everything, all of all I think and all I do and all I believe. Do I even know what I believe? Do I even need to know?
Maybe I just like over thinking because it means I"m thinking. I question things because I crave the obscurity. The more uncertainty, the better. I pretend things are important because I want something to matter, anything to matter. Because maybe if I dress it all up as one towering intoxicating sequence of events, I'll cast a shadow over the insipid truth. Poetry makes mundane things beautiful. And words weave murkiness over the monotonous. So I use them.
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