I'M BACK, BITCHES !

Do you know how long i've wanted to say i'm back, bitches ! for?
fuck. that has literally been like, a life dream.
afuckinglifedream.
i feel like i'm from charlies angels or something.
i'd be drew barrymore, because i'm not only really pretty but i also know how to kick some ass!
speaking of drew.
i watched going the distance on the plane.
it was really really good.
especially the bit where they talked about masturbating and pigeons and had phone sex.
ohwow. i sound horny as a dandy. hurhurhur. geddit? hint: horny as a dandy is a song. i'm not literally.. flowers... sex.. yeah. ummmmm anyway.

fuck so singapore was really fun.
it was cool since dad was pretty much on business the whole time so he was just all like,
HERE MONEY. THERE CITY. CAITLIN. FUN.
i went crazy.
like seriously, if my love for shopping was theoretically a flame and the flame was slowly dying to a small, damp bit of ash, then this trip rekindled it into a fully blown bonfire in the hypothetical situation that someone was having a bonfire party with my love for shopping.
...umm. i bought a lot of shit.
i was sorta all like, 'HEYYY I'M IN SINGAPORE OMGGG IMMA GO BUY MYSELF SUM TRADITIONAL FOREIGN SHIT SO I CANNN LIKE LOOK RELLY COOL WHEN I GET MYSELF HOME IN FRONT OF MA MATES,' so i ended up buying like, all this weird shit at chinese, indian and iraqi flea markets. (yeah, indian and iraqi. i'm not even IN india. or iraq. fuckin mind explosion right there.)
soo i got, among other things, strange, rainbow hemp shoes, a traditional indian sari dress, some weird japanese lollies that taste like shit but look fuckin' pro, and some wooden sticks that i thought were incense but turned out to be things you burn in singaporean buddhist temples while you're praying.
say, thats SURE to come in handy at home while i'm pottering around the house!
but i bought cool shit too. like cd's and band tshirts and bracelets with rolling stone and marijuana leave signs on them.
and i ate a lot of things that i was pretty sure was secretly just my mums uterus artfully put together on a plate. fuck.
and now i'm coming home.
ya better have missed me, shitheads.