You will squeeze the life out of me.

Thank you Muse, for summing up what Mr Joyce is doing to me through your amazing song lyrics. Because I can actually feel him squeezing out my soul until theres nothing left but a little.. i dunno, bit of ash left.

Because he burnt my soul. Or something. IN OTHER NEWS.

Theres nothing weird about stalking

seriously.

especially when the subject is wearing a rainbow hat.

A pointy, tall, rainbow hat with a pom pom on the top. In public. With now shame at all.

in fact, I'm thinking of doing it more often.

Stalking, I mean.

Like, say... this monday?

can't wait izzy :D

The history books forgot about us and the bible didnt mention us

Yeaah well, that heading has nothing to do with this post but I like that song lyric, so deal mr invisble man reading this. Yeah, I know who you are. I'm watching. I'm always watching.

Anyway.

The comedy festival is over in Melbourne (muffled sob) but VAMPIRE WEEKEND is a mere 12 days away.

Jason Byrne, (aka the most funny man that ever lived) Josh Thomas and Frank Woodley were awesome, but I suspect Vampire Weekend will be someting else altogether.

So I'm pretty pumped right now.

In fact, one might say I'm bouncing off the walls. Whoever one is. With his stupid name and strange sayings. Bloody one.

Anwayyyy. LUKE PRITCHARD. PLEASE COME MARRY ME. IT WILL BE FUN. WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND YOU CAN SERENADE ME SOMETIMES AND BE BEAUTIFUL.

he's amazing. and talented. And british. And from the Kooks, in case you didnt know that mr invisible man.

British bands tend to be rocking right now.

The Indian Housewife cookbook for Indian Housewives

Its all because of the Indian Housewives cookbook.

It had to go and be bought by my dad, who technically shouldn't have even be allowed to buy it since he is clearly not Indian nor a woman.

And it had to contain hundreds of ridiculously hot, eye watering recipes of curries, all of which could possibly kill someone if they eat too much.

And it had to cause my dad to start cooking curries more because of his intense excitement of the curry hot-ness, causing, in turn, more curries to be eaten by me.

Curries like, perhaps, the one I just ate tonight.

The chicken vindaloo one.

That might just have turned my mouth into a mushy, jelly-like substance that will possibly never be able to eat again.

Lets have salad tomorrow.

skinssss

well.

Thanks to a certain all-nighter sleepover party, I am now obsessed with Skins.

ITS SO DAMN ADDICTIVE.

Its like a british version of gossip girl minus the richness and expensive scarves.

Sadly, since I dont have the DVD, I am having to watch it on you tube.

Which takes

f o r e v e r

Football Crowds- Aren't they delicious?

I am never going to the football again.

Seriously.

I mean, I have nothing wrong with the actual game, but it's like 90 percent of the footy crowd are angry, bitter people or the mentally disturbed.

Picture this.

I'm sitting at the footy, St Kilda vs Collingwood, and am having a pretty intense time watching Collingwood (my team) play. I'm focused. I'm in 'my zone.' And then suddenly, two jerks behind me start screaming out abuse at collingwood.

Travis Cloke was a skill-less retard. Didak was a turd. Davis was a fuckwit.

And they were screaming it too.

Every time Travis Cloke got the ball it was; "OHHH LOOK WHOS GOT IT TRAVIS THE TURD, HERES A TURNOVER COMING. WHAT A SKILL-LESS RETARD."

Eventually, as the game progressed, they decided to stick with the turd insult.

This meant everyone was a turd.

I was a turd, collingwood was a turd, the crowd was a turd. Even the st kilda players were turds.

Luckily, I found comfort in the fact that they were both quickly losing their voices, so every time they shouted something out their voices started breaking or dying out, leaving their insults weak and kinda lame.

But this wasnt all.

To my left, I also had gibberish guy.

For the entire game, at around 15 second intervals he would string a few random syllables together and say them quietly to himself, combined with a shaking of the head in amazement.

Every time he did this, I kept frantically looking back to the game, searching for what he found so crazy and utterly unbelievable, but there was nothing out of the ordinary happening.

Then, in front of me, there was the average collingwood idiot.

This meant the usual annoying stuff, like shouting out collingwood every few moments to somehow spur on his team, or jumping up in elation whenever we marked the ball or got a goal. He also had a stupid habit of constantly trying to start collingwood clapping chants. Needless to say, he was the only one participating in them.

Between the two agressive idiots behind me, the gibberish guy, the collingwood supporter and the fact that my team got thrashed, I'm pretty sure next week I'll be watching the hawthorn game from the comfort of my own home.

Its easier that way.

How to look mentally disabled in 10 minutes or less

I went to the worst Photobooth/world/plus/whatever you call them yesterday.

Ynow the ones, the japanese booth thingys where you take photos of you and your friends with random backgrounds and then edit them and use them as stickers?

Fun right? Well yeah, usually.

In fact, it probably WOULD have been fun if me and my acquaintance (tully) hadn't decided to get the cheapest one, but we werent paying 18 bucks to take like 6 photos, and we thought it would be fine and probably just as good as the 18 dollar ones anyway.

We were wrong.

The backgrounds were awful, they were just completely yellow or completely red and plain, or completely random, like a mosque or a background of woodchips.

Because we all love woodchips, right?

And you had no chance of choosing a good background even if there were any, because it gave you like 10 seconds to choose what you wanted which meant you spent the whole time frantically clicking in order to not go overtime, meaning you were guaranteed to get something stupid, like a background of brown and white lines or something equally unpleasant.

And then when you actually took the photo, it gave you no warning and just said dozens of sentances in japanese so it took the photo at some random, awful time and turned out with you, eyes half shut, mouth open midway through posing so you looked like some spastic idiot that was having a day out from the mental hospital.

But hey, maybe thats what I look like all of the time.

Sunshine

Today's weather reminds me of when I was little in primary school.

It reminds me of the fridays after school when mum would pick me up and we would walk through the park across the road with the sun shining on our faces and get icecream at the milk bar.

Mum called it our 'friday treat' and I think it was most probably my favourite part of the week.

I loved those days,

We would walk through this green, lush park filled with trees and laughing children and I would hold mums hand and feel completely and utterly peaceful and happy.

And for some stupid reason, todays weather reminds me of those days in primary school.

Stupid, yeah?

All you need is Love?

I have often wondered what it would be like to believe so fully in a religion. To know, in any situation, that everything would be okay because you had God on your side protecting you. I feel like, by not believing in God at all, I'm missing out on some secret joy that everyone but me has.

Like, when I used to see christians or whatever, I just thought they were stupid because they didnt get that our universe is just made up of atoms and all we are going to do in our life is live and die, but now, I envy them. I envy the way that whenever they are in the dark, whenever they are lost, they have a friend to lead them out of it. And even though it may only be fake, or an illusion, it is more than I have.

Because when I’m lost I only have myself to pick up the pieces.

Anyway. I'm going to stop being deep and overly thinking-y and go eat some pizza.

I.am.so.hungry.

Shane

loving shane right now.

how i miss him and his quiet cuteness.

his eyes were like giant pools of beautiful brown-ness.

WHAT AN AWESOME DOG.

speaking of awesomeness.

WEDDING DAZE.

it looks ridiculously crap and corny, but the you watch it and ITS NOT.

not only did it provide 2 hours of solid entertainment, it also introduced me to a new band.

THE FORMAT.

look em up. cos they are cool.

kinda like Shane.

shut up, mustaches are cool.

so i've created a blog.

how exciting.

maybe i'll turn into that woman from 'julie and julia' and get a massive movie contract and a book and stuff cos my blogs are so ridiculously awesome and individual.

I liked that movie.

Meryl streep is one cool dude. She was in it, right?

there should be a male equivilant to dude. like,

lude.

or shacka.

anyway, I'm gonna go now and continue staring at my ridiculously cool poster of the killers in which 2 of the awesome band members sport a mustache.

They make it work.