Fuck Family, ....right?

I came into this weekend thinking it was gonna be shit and I was gonna wanna cut myself with like, some massive jagged knife by the end of it.

But.

I don't know, today at lunch I just sort of, had that funny flippy heart thing where its like, 'hey i like where I am and I like what I'm doing and for now, at least, I'm happy.'

Cos maybe most of the time I hate my parents and my cousins are irritating little flys and my aunty and uncle are conservative racists but, every so often this window opens, and this little wave of love for them washes through me.

It was a massive, epic lunch, with me, my 3 cousins, 2 aunts and uncle, grandma, mum and dad, my brother and his girlfriend, their baby quinn, and about twenty dogs randomly walking under the table, and we had like, 5 roasts going at once.

It was busy, and hectic, and everyone was talking at once, and there was constant shouting and laughter and exasperated sighs, but it was.... right.

It was happy, and joyful, and there were constants cries of 'MOLL-YYY, get OUT from under the table,' and, 'LACHIE, stop waving your turkey leg at everyone,' and babies and roasted chickens were getting passed over the table, but nobody was angry, or stressed, just content with the knowledge that nothing can be perfect, you just have to make do with what you have.

And i remember looking around the table at one point, with Lachie desperately trying to hack into his mountain of meat, and Fergus singing 'I kissed a girl' while pouring his 5th glass of cordial, and Lizzie trying patientlly to explain to Amelia that it wasn't, pass the turkey round the table, and Grandma sitting there eyeing everyone off, and thinking to myself, maybe I shouldn't be trying to isolate myself with my family, they might be the best thing I have in my life.

And then thinking, gee, this carrot really does taste like shit.

Oh well, inspirational moments never last that long, right?