well today was fucking shit.
why is it that i care so much about being friends and you don't seem to give a crap?
is it really that hard to be bothered talking to me for more than five minutes a day?
i never thought you would be that type of person.
that would just leave someone for something 'better' and then never bother looking back.
i mean seriously, you have no idea how much you have fucked up my self esteem.
could you just stop being obsessed with her for one second and talk to me?
its like im drowning in it all.
"i wondered if there would come a time when we wouldn't be joking. what would that look like? how would that feel? When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. everything moved me. a dog following a stranger. that made me feel so much. a calendar that showed the wrong month. i could have cried over it. i did. i spent my life learning how to feel less. every day i felt less. is that growing old? or is it something worse? you cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
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