Da bitch is back!11!!! Hurhur

So I know I made it a rule to only blog once a day, but I mean, the last one didnt count, because it was just fairly amusing pictures, yeah? Yeah.
So I've had a really crazy night as per usual. I've been sitting in my room eating pizza and listening to nirvana while jumping between reading Immelman's comics and watching lots and lots of emily and naomi youtube videos. I should really stop doing that. It's getting kinda creepy. Especially now that I've filled half my wall with photos of them.
speaking of stuff. I found this piece of paper in a clipboard today, and it was an apology letter from a boy when I was in year 2 or something saying

'Dear caitlin. I am sorey for coling you lesbens I shold of said Hiy. I shold of thot about it befor opening my math. From MAX L.

It went straight on my wall. I wonder what he was referring to.
Guess we'll never know.

I went to the movies today. That was productive.
I feel like writing a song or something. I'm in that creative genius kinda mood.
Or maybe I'm just tired as fuck.
Or maybe I just want to sound cool by saying I wrote a song.
Or maybe I dont care whether I'm cool or not.
Or maybe I do care, but I don't logically think writing a song would be beneficial for my status, and I just want to write one for general fun.
Or maybe I overanalyze everything I say.

Imma just leave this here.

The evidence of my lack of life.
They do be small on this post, so, if you want to be treated to large amounts of hilarity, I'd advise you to click the images.
Then they get bigger.
trololol.

For now I miss your smile

Everyone seems to be in that shitty end of year mood.
I'm not.. really.
I don't know hey. I guess I went through the depression thing like.. halfway through the year or whatever so now I'm all depressed out. Or something. And things are going to change a lot next year. So. I'm not all. Fucked up over having nothing to look forward to. I'm actually holding up really well, considering.
But I feel like I should be sad to be leaving by now. Like, looking at everyone and everything and being all witstful and full of remorse but I'm not. I actually don't give a fuck really. I guess when I actually leave I'll be sad then. Like over summer when I spend 2 months 10 hours away from melbourne with a complete different set of friends I'll probably start missing Carey. And I'll probably start stupidly crying about missing people. But the actual people I like at Carey I don't even hang out with at school anyway. Because they're already gone. To france. Or sweden. Or I just dont.. see them. For multiple annoying reasons.


I guess I'd be lying though if I said sometimes I don't just get home and get that tight feeling in my chest and get scared and sad and horribly, painfully lonely for no reason. But when that happens I lie on the floor in my room and look at the ceiling for a long time and wait for the sadness to pass. And then things are okay again.
And life goes on.
Just like forever.



I've never liked someone so much it hurts. I feel so cynical, sometimes. Like I can never fully love anybody.
Like I don't even know the meaning of the word.

I'm funny as fuck

I ONCE HAD AN AUNT
SHE USED TO RIDE HER BIKE FOR MILES
PEOPLE USED TO CALL OUT ON THE STREET:
'THERE GOES AUNT ON HER BIKE'
NOW JEMIMA, SHE WAS A NICE WOMAN OF COURSE
AND SHE ALWAYS KNEW AUNT HAD SOME SORT OF ELECTRICAL FAULT
CALL IT INTUITION, CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL
BUT THAT NIGHT
WELL, THAT NIGHT WE ALL WENT TO BED WITH PUDDING AND WERE DONE WITH IT!
ANDREAS OF COURSE HAD A DIFFERING OPINION
NOW DONT GET ME STARTED ON RONALD
SUCH MATTERS SHALL ONLY END IN TEARS
WE WERE ALL JUST WAITING FOR GEORGE TO COME IN!
BLESS HIM, WITH THAT HAT!
I USED TO WATCH HIM AND THINK, 'THIS HERE, IS A BOY THAT KNOWS WHERE HE'S GOING'
SOMETIMES I WOULD WATCH ADRIANA
BUT THAT CAME TO NO GOOD IN THE SUMMER OF 98
MARK MY WORDS, THAT BOAT WAS NOT LOADED WITH STOLEN SWORDS
DONT YOU GO LISTENING TO THE GERMANS ON THAT ONE.
THEY KNOW NOTHING BUT HOW TO STUFF A SAUSAGE,
AND ASK BOBBY FOR HE'LL AGREE!

The Social Network is an altogether great movie.
Shout out to gracie and jo for being a half hour late !
I played my new recorder all the way home

I miss the overwhelming feeling of looking after a hermit crab

I ACTUALLY LOVED SPEECH NIGHT THIS YEAR WOOOO! WOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!
oh my god i am in the BEST mood right now. call it over tiredness, call it insanity, call it what you will, but i know i'll be coming home tonight with a smile on my dial.
EXCEPT THAT I ALREADY AM HOME! HAHA! I'M JUST REPEATING A JOKE I SAID TO TENZIN MANY TIMES TODAY.
wow. people must think I'm just so crazy.
but i just ate an ice cream so trololololol dont even care what y'all think.
You know what would make me laugh? If nobody actually read my blog. And I've been talking to myself this whole time. Without realising it. HA! THATD BE JUST SO FUNNY! BUT IT ISNT TRUE. OBVIOUSLY IT ISNT TRUE. IT MUSNT BE TRUE! HAHA! HA!
So anyway it's really hot in this room wow.
Today I went to the radio information session with tenzin and we signed up to start a radio course with the community radio channel over the summer for people under 18. And once you complete the course you can get a radio station on actual real radio's with the community channel AINT THAT COOL? It was in a really cool building too. With expressionist art and hipster chairs made of strange coloured plastic.
ANYWAY. I FEEL LIKE EATING SALAMI. I AM IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD.

wanna know a funny story? today i was talking to my dad.
..
.....
.......yeah thats all.
LOL JKS. i was talking to my dad and he was saying he once payed this family money to live in their house because aparently sometimes people do that, and he was a journalist at the time, but the family said he could pay half if he helped them in their cleaning job. so all of dads journalist friends would always see him in a cleaning outfit in random shop fronts through the town every night and be like, 'bazza, ...what. whats he doin. why he there?' and at the time it was JUST SO FUNNY AAH!

i'm going to go not sleep now. LALALALAL SO HAPPY.

caitlins bog post for da day

ERA: You just lost 80 percent of the people that were reading this article. They all just rolled their eyes and ripped up the page.
SCHWARTZMAN: It’s all right. We’re already in the part that says continued on page 128.
CERA: You and me are going to love to read this. We should get together and read this out loud to each other. Maybe we could do each other’s parts.
SCHWARTZMAN: We’ll do the adaptation of this interview on Broadway. [Cera laughs] You’ll be at your house eating a sandwich and biting your fingernails and there is a split onstage and on the other side I’m pacing around my apartment in shorts and a T-shirt.
CERA: I have one note: I’d like for me to be sitting in a massage chair and have a woman rubbing my shoulders the whole time, so that while we’re doing the run of this play I’ll be the most relaxed I’ve ever been.
SCHWARTZMAN: I think we can make that happen.


MICHAEL YOU SO FUNNY. YOU SO BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND LAWL I LOVE YOU LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVEEE MEEEE.
WHY AM I SO CREEPY OMG.
i need to get out there. meet people. meet the peeps. socialize.
too much time holing up in my little old room and reading michael cera interviews and looking at michael cera photos and watching michael cera movies and STOP ME. YOU'RE FREAKING OUT THE PUBLIC.
but if the boyz dont lyk me, at least i have michael cera's fake love <3
ahem. anywho.
ANYONE BEEN WATCHING GOOF FILM LATELY?
and yes i noticed the spelling mistake. but i kept it because it made me larf.

Today is a good day.

i did not go to school today and oh lord it's been positively lovely.
this morning i watched a movie called 'the killing of john Lennon' which was about the killing of john Lennon. it made me ridiculously depressed and angry and awful feeling but it was reallyreallyreally good. and then straight after that i was going to watch nick and norahs infinite playlist which was on but then i decided to watch a movie about john f Kennedy's assassination which was really interesting and also made me ridiculously depressed and angry and awful feeling since he was going to be just about the best president america had ever had. and john Lennon was just about the best musician the world has ever had.
so yeah. now im a tad depressed and know a lot about assassinations. but the JFK story is particularly interesting. i mean, how they still don't know the motive of the assassinations since the assassinator of Kennedy was also assassinated 2 days after he assassinated JFK, and then the guy that assassinated the assassinator killed himself after that so they dont know why he assassinated the assassinator either and should i say assassinate one more time?
anyway. oh john lennon. depression.

I'm going to go sit outside on this beautiful day and drink lemonade and sit in the grass and read now.
Yeah. Good day.

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldnt get sued.

10 generally general things.

1: my parents have been playing a bob dylan cover cd all weekend and i'm starting to want to shoot myself. not because i hate bob dylan but because i have possibly heard every song around 25 times now and each song features some chick was a ridiculously high voice doing some crazy opera thing i dont even. wow. the horror.

2: i heavily enjoy modern family. AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO TELL THE WORLD WOOO!

3: speaking of modern family, the daughter in it is kind of ridiculously hot. and so is her boyfriend oh ma gawd double whammy.

4: the wall above my desk is now covered in scott pilgrim quotes and pictures of lily loveless and kathryn prescott (emily and naomi of skins,) and oh wow it looks beautiful. every time i look at them I FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY CUZ THEY'RE SO CUTE WFNDGFBWds

5: michael cera was chubby in arrested development. its very very cute. he is very very cute. i love him lots and lots forever and ever amen and hes ALL I'VE EVER WANTED IN A MANN.

6: i'm getting kind of ridiculously sick of the one guy i would never go out with in my life liking me. cant they just. i dont know. fuck off. please. take a hint and all. that. god so aloneeee. especially since. the people i do. never look at. never seem to. talk to me but. dont. they wont. we'll just be friends. or. whatever. and. what.

7: today i tried to decide whether the scott pilgrim movie was better than the books and vice versa and my brain almost exploded from the hardness of it all.

8:i think my dad is starting to think i'm not a girl anymore or something. i think i'm starting to think i'm not a girl anymore or something. i dont know. weird hey. i dont. i dont know. im not very. i dont know.

9: sometimes i feel really inadequate and not pretty which is stupid probably. i dont know. i've never really thought i was pretty because i'm not really. i guess its never really bothered me that i'm kind of average looking but. yeah. this is a pointless fact. sometimes i just wish i was. because then maybe. people would like me. i shouldnt have said that. now i sound like a dick. sorry.

10:being on tumblr makes me feel cool. being on facebook makes me feel like i have no life. interesting.

Wherever you may go, I will let you down.

Oh what fun you can have on facebook amongst friends. Except. Not plural. Just. One. What?
trololololol i make sense.
the moral of the story is that there is an amazingly large amount of amazing photos of lily loveless and kathryn prescott on the world wide web. also camille looks like a fat black man. apparently.

i just finished the 5th scott pilgrim book and now I'm at a loss at what to do.
It's sunny today which is nice. maybe I should go outside and get my old daily vitamin c dose or something.


There are precisely 9 days to go. Weird that people can be happy and sad and nervous and excited and patient and impatient at the same time. Everything is always changing and its mostly good I think.
Weird. I hope I'm not building things up in my head.

I still like the Kooks even though they're mainstream.

Still desperately in love with urban. Now shown 6 more lucky people Polyester Records. Still bored of Allans.

My mother used to tell me stories about love. Love weaved shadows over sorrow, my mother said. Love transformed ugly things. It made them beautiful. Special. I grew up with love as my superhero. It was magical to me.

But when you’re little, everything is magical, isn’t it?

I grow older and the world goes darker. I miss finding beauty in things. I miss having hope. Were we just naïve or concealed from our bitter fates? Is there a difference? I think myself into thoughts I don’t understand because I’m scared if I stop thinking there will be nothing there. Is there ever anything there? Maybe we invent things in our minds so we can pretend life is about more than just living. Maybe love it just a chemical. Maybe nothing is real. Maybe everything is real.

Does it make you sad that nothing ever lasts?
That emotions are slippery, ever changing subjects to the mess that is our minds, that we are ruled by fear and frustration, materialistic constant consumers always searching, searching for nothing.
Does it make you sad that we have forgotten what it means to live?

‘I’m not living, I’m just wasting time.’

Everyone always says we’re on a journey. Everyone always tells us what to do even when they don’t. Everyone always has their own little mundane opinion that they want to tower over everyone else’s. I don’t care that you care about something. You don’t care that I care about something. We both think we’re important. Maybe we are. Probably we aren’t.

I don’t know who I am but I know what I am.
We’re ever changing, anyway.
Our opinions. Our personalities. Our relationships.
We carry our sadness like battle scars.
Probably nothing is consistent.

But don’t you think that the world is still beautiful?
Maybe love is still magical.
Maybe we all are.

I do not think I am as interesting as I think I am.

I guess this is the rushed goodbye that I thought would never come

as a little retaliation to gracies blog, she neglected to forget that i owned her at both the monster mash and wii canoeing. just putting that out there. do with that information what you will.

urban is still asfdgeadfhfw amazing. except for the minor fact i can already tell im going to have nightmares about crispys.. pineapple.. ice. i dont even. vomitting.

the world seems wrong sometimes.
can you help me to fly here?
the world seems wrong sometimes.
oh can you help me to fly?

Theres a blaze of light in every word

So yeah I'm in love with urban.
And I dont really wanna say stuff on this thing because people, well, maybe, read it, but.
Yeah. Urban's great.
Really good people.
And I'm going to write things in my diary thing that isnt a diary because this blog is actually well, kind of terrible.
Sorry about that.

And today I walked home very very slowly and sort of walked in this weird wonky line and touched random plants because I was very distracted about thinking about the days conversations and like stuff.

I've had all I want for christmas is you stuck in my head for a very long time.
i hate this song.
......................
not really.
i actually love it.
seriously though i love it.
it must mean something about my life.
or. not.
....that was stupid.

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?

But I guess that I can live without you but without you I'll be miserable at best

HAWHAWHAW I'm eating chocolate at 9.00 in the morning.
I'd say this is just about the most insane thing I've ever done !

But ahoy there I was actually productive yesterday. i mean, I spent like the entire day in my room taking off the photos of bands n' shit off my pinboard and putting them on my wardrobe, and then I printed out all these ridiculously funny in general photos and put dem on da pinboard woo !
Except now I've moved the pinboard from on top of my desk of drawers to like, underneath my fireplace and the wall above my desk of drawers looks so emptyyy.

Hey remember that time when I actually had interesting things to say and didn't just talk about the interior designing of my room?

But um yeah fucking tired ay this morning. I think I stayed up till like two playing the the sex pistols (like what?) and chewing gum for some reason and generally sitting on the floor. Thats pretty much how I can describe my life on weekends. Generally sitting on the floor. Sometimes with others, sometimes alone, sometimes accompanied by some form of poodle. Sometimes I also liven it up by like, lying down in that stretchy banana pose thing so I can look around more. Thats the good thing about my room. It allows generally sitting on the floor to be like, 50X better because theres a lot of shit to look at. Thats why I put my pinboard on the ground at eye level. So I can look at it while doin shit.

I hope to god you weren't bored enough to read this shit.

The mosquito bites just keep appearing.

I wish you could reblog things like on tumblr. because then i totally would have reblogged gracies quotes.
I feel stupid to have forgot 'i'd be a fly so i could have a short life' oh god. that was good. and 'i worked this out 3 years ago, i'd be a duck.' that general game was rather amazing.
and burnt as a tit on a barbecue. she forgot that one. lawl.
Speaking of being alive. I had eds rapping stuck in my head for like all of last night. oh the hindrance of it all. 'her name is kath, shes a great bloke. she always likes to, give me a smoke.' 'his name is cam, theres a dam. bam. bam. bam.' 'her name is gracie, shes got a facey, something something another made up word.'


I feel like doing something terribly exciting with my room today but I dont know what. I'm in a bit of a 'DIY' kinda mood but yeah. doubt it'll amount to anything. I am so good at not doing anything its insane. So yeah. I'll probably just spend the rest of the day reading scott pilgrim and kickass. because im such a hipster in training.
If by hipster you mean shaky, nervous, depressive teenager that has a cuts all over herself from various ailments in the good old bush.

maybe if i put on the clash ill be in a cooler mood while i eat my bacon.
the clash. bacon. what wondrous things.

You might hate me now but you'll love me in the morning !

I actually liked camp.
freaks me out ey.
but oh my god brigitte kind of made my camp. which is weird because i thought i hated her but oh god shes so funny.
especially at 12.00 at night when she starts shouting things and doing her bush voice. ....and the wild outback animal impersonations oh god.
and ed kerr... well i wouldnt say i like him, but he grew on me. it was nice to talk to a fellow music lover about music. especially radiohead. plus i enjoyed listening to him rap about us every night and constantly swoop back his hair and go, 'guys seriously am i hot?'
and the funny thing is i thought i hated darcy as well but hes actually well... a fair diece bloke. and it was cool to actually talk to him slightly when i never thought i would ever. and he lives in richmond so, automatic legend.
but the best part was our ridiculously hot camp leader that was so fucking hot i could die. when he was topless. and all wet from the river. and he was all tanned. and his grown out dreadlocked hair was dripping in the sun. and his skin was glistening. and those blue eyes.... okay stop.
hes getting married. remember that. to a woman with a first name en and a second name vironment.
but lol at how the second we got back paige sent us all a link of a guy that looks like danny. THATS HOW HOT HE IS KIDS.

today was also fun because me and gracie got to sit like a metre away from nikhil for hours. "We should have snuck into his campsite last night. I would have ridden him like a bull."

and this blog is fucking shit but whatever. the point is, camp is actually good okay. its actually some sort of good.

ill leave you with a famous cameron lack quote of the camp.
brigitte: guys if you were an animal what would you be?
cam: i'd be a crab. *awkward silence* so i could hide under rocks.

I'm sorry.

I'm doing a great job at hating myself, but guess what, you 'oh so exemplary being,' so are you. It's my fucking fault and its your fucking fault for rubbing that all in my face, smearing my insolence until I can't breathe. Not that I ever fucking can in this place.
And don't ask me to explain what I can't begin to comprehend myself. All I know is it's all not enough. Expectations will be the death of me. If they havent been already.
I was going great until you decided to come on over and tell me I'm a disgraceful mess.
Guess you can predict the future or something.

I still miss you though. And you know what? I miss me the most.
I'm just making things worse.
And I don't even care that I'm screwing it all up.




Except that I do.

I CANNOT let Lamar see me as a hairy beast D:

Today will be a good day.
I'm already ripping in to several episodes of keeping up with the kardashians, whilst simeltaneously eating delightfully large amounts of soup. Soup of the pumpkin variety.

Lets see what else is on.
You know a band name that really irritates me?
Rise against.
Its like, dude, I get you want me to rise, presumabely against something, but, like, what?
What am I supposed to be rising on up and defeating?
I always feel like its an unfinished name. Like, I don't know, they really liked where they were going with the whole 'rise,' 'against' thing, except then they didnt know how to finish it so they were just all, 'ughhh cant be bovereddd, do it lataaaa.'
and then they just never got around to it or something.

another generally funny thing I discovered today as I was looking at all my CD's in my extreme fit of boredom is that in the CD booklet of one of the stroke's albums, (is this it, its that album,) ...Um yeah in the CD booklet is a giant photo of their guru. With the subtitle, -Our Guru. And I don't know why but it made me laugh for like 15 minutes uncontrollably. Possibly because they had a photo of each band member and then suddenly it was like, BAM obese indian man with Guru caption. Oh god laughing again.

Anyway. Happy sunday or whatever guys. Live it upppp !!1!!1

That awful moment when dad comes in and tries, for the first time ever, to have a conversation with me

Oh lord every time I talk I sound like some creepy soft man.
Or. something.
Kinda convenient though because I can't be bothered talking to people anyway.
So much effort like omg boringg.
It's probably cos I think I'm cooler than you.
No. I hate that song. And those are the wrong lyrics.
But seriously fuck off people. I don't want to talk to you. Leaveee me aloneeee omggggg lykkk wuttt?
I'm not in the mood for being interesting.
JUST WANNA WATCH MORE OF THE OFFICE AND EAT BARBEQUED THINGS.
Oh god this blog is a disaster.

Um. Yeah. LIKE 10 SCHOOL DAYS TILL PRESHIL SO EXCITED WEEEEEEW !
I better meet some awesome cool best friend with like, blue hair or something. Otherwise I'm gonna be pretty let down.
And, ynow, alone.

Hey I'm the ABC, and I like Australian shows where people eat each other!

Individuality,
well hey now thats a label,
toss me in another grouping,
you love that we're unstable.

I've had me and tenzins song stuck in my head all night oh god.
and dad just made me go into the living room with him to spend an hour watching some ABC show about a prostitute, and a cannibal that was talking about biting flesh when you have sex and I don't even know whether its a comedy or some sick crime drama. All I know is I'm uncomfortable. A lot.
And for the record, Steven King is not pleasant bedtime reading.

God so much horror. SO MUCH.

Whatever.

Awkward how awkward the last part of my last blog was.
but yeah ITS ALL TRUE.
cant be bothered denying it so...
so yeah.
im still the same old freak though. maybe.
i dont know what im saying. um.
Complication is annoying.

I need to start sleeping for once in my life.
Kinda forgotten what going to bed is.
I'm silly.

You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef, lets fight.

"You are incorigable."
"I dont know the meaning of the word."
"He really doesn't."

I like writing amusing things in sharpie on camilles wall.
ITS SO PRETTY NOW OMG.
SO MANY INSIDE JOKES. SO, SO MANY.

and awkward how little i give a shit about what you think.
we're funny. get over it. move on. MOVE DA FUCK ON.
but seriously. i dont really give a shit what people think. especially boring people. boring people are so... like.. boringggg.
this is not as deep as it should be. 'boring ppl r so borin omgggg'

Quietly enjoying listening to conversation wafting upstairs

"If 'so you think' prepared for the melbourne cup like I prepared, then he would have no chance."
"Bazza I don't think you're a thoroughbread racehorse."

I made one with 60 percen efficiency! Haha! 60 persen! no it was actually 30, which is still good, but.. 60! haha!

oh fuck.
i dont know why but i was just standing in the shower before and then i suddenly remembered,
'did a poo, heard the splash'
and started giggling hysterically for an uncomfortable amount of time.
but oh god. so funny.
so, so funny.