I wish I was special, so fucking special

But I'm a creep.

I'm a weirdo.

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here.

Whoever had the stupid idea to take me to Canberra for a holiday was a little bit mentally 'not there,' if you know what I mean. *Wink wink,* say n'more.

Theres just something weird about Canberra. I can't really put my finger on it, but it's like you could be wandering along the street and be a little bemused but not entirely suprised to find you had just stumbled into a town that was part of some weird sci fi thing where everybody had their personalities sucked out of their brains or souls or whatever by a large but pleasant enough talking wolf or mechanical dog or something.

And that might not be an entirely accurate description, but I still have a feeling I'm on to something. If not with the 'sucked out brain thing,' perhaps at least with the mechanical dog leader prediction.

Hey, anything can happen in the 21st century.

Champagne for my Real Friends, Real Pain for my Sham Friends

Lets make lists lists are fun.

Caitlins list of 4 depressing thoughts she had just now.

1. It's funny cos I'm worried that you hate me but I don't want to talk about it because if I do I think you'll hate me for real, so I'll just freak out about you on my own because I like avoiding things at all costs, except I hate avoiding things too.
2. I want to have these deep conversations but deep conversations scare me a little and i never know what to say and they make me feel like I'm drowning. The waters too deep and i never was a very strong swimmer.
3. Maybe I should create another blog nobody knows about where I don't have to talk in code in case somebody reads it and I can just say whatever the hell I want without worrying you'll judge me for it or I'll seem suicidal or lame or whatever you find uncool.
4. I'm kinda sick of pleasing people and wanting people to like me and I'm worried its going to make me alone and I'm mostly worried I'm not going to care.

Okay, I'm allowed one depressing blog post a week right? It's winter, winter is sad. Sad winter makes for sad caitlin and cold caitlin.

Let Me Go On, Like I Blister In The Sun

ceebs doing in and outs week with massive descriptions.

winter is out. numb feet are out. neighbours is out. rocks are out. cooking is out.

idk whats in. sleeping. alex turner. dan brown. abc3. creaming soda. those 2 gay guys from modern family.

'Wow, you just made figure skating sound even gayer.'

Books. I'm Rapt. Books. I'm Ra-

I have a weird paranoid obsession with rearranging bookshelves.

I can imagine in 60 years time i will spend the majority of my days methodically and amusedly arranging my books in various fashions, alphabetical, genre, size, a combination of the three, perhaps while muttering something illegible and twitching slightly in my left eye.

There is something hugely satisfying about ordering your books so that they look pleasant and categorized, a satisfaction I so far haven't been able to match with any of my other activities, as much as I've tried.

It's like my quirky little version of smoking.

It calms me down.

The Boy with the Thorn in his Side

Today has been pleasant in the way that only lazy, pointless days can be.

I didn't really do much, which was cool. I spent like 3 hours walking along the rocks and poetically staring out at the ocean while listening to The Smiths and Arcade Fire on repeat.

Its funny and not a little alarming how long you can stare at the ocean for without getting bored. I mean, its just a bunch of water, but its weirdly awesome and i don't know, majestic.

God, I hate the word majestic. Its corny and irritating and the J in the middle freaks me out for no particular reason.

When I think about it, a lot of things freak me out for no particular reason. Like those tassels you use to tie curtains with. They look suspiciously like human heads. And I know I'm not the only one that thinks that.

COOK LIKE A MASTERCHEF COOKS, SHOP WHERE A MASTERCHEF SHOPS

Hey Coles, get the fuck off my TV.

SURPRISE!

I've arrived at the beach.

it is cold.

I assume this is why everbody has stayed in their houses.

So far, I have only seen 5 people.

Justin, the 'largely proportioned' man from next door that 'dropped in' to say hi, a couple that spent a good half hour gazing out at the beach in a slightly stoned but not entirely unpleasant fashion, and 2 teenagers on scooters simultaneously kicking around a football whilst shouting random gibberish that I assumed was some strange form of english.

Perhaps tonight I'll go for a walk on the beach and gaze at the stars like part of some corny, depressing music video where everyone looks pained and filled with a barely contained form of a deep, intense emotion. (for an example of this, see photo above. James Blunt is gay.)

Boys Don't Cry

is a good song from a good recently bought CD.

I enjoy buying CD's. Thats what I plan to use all my money on when I get a job, endless piles of CD's. People will know me as nothing but 'the CD woman,' or possibly, 'CD Caitlin.' It'll be cool, so cool I might even get in the newspaper for it or something, with a picture of me with CD's and the headline, 'WOMAN GETS BY WITH NOTHING BUT MUSIC.'

Aside from CDS, I happen to think the alleyways of Melbourne are possibly my most favourite part of the city. They remind me of Brussels and France and Europe, little cobblestone streets and funky boutiques and awesome graffiti. When I become big and old and wizened, I plan to walk through them as much as I can, perhaps to grab a bagel or sit down for a quick cup of coffee with my inevitably cool, well dressed friends that smoke those flapper cigarettes with the long pipe thingys. They might even wear slightly askew berets. Yeah, thats the life.

Laughter is the best medicine.

oh, you're leaving, aren't you'

I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That's when I definitely knew
But if you're trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don't turn around and see if I'm crying
I'm not crying
It's just been raining on my face
No, I'm not crying
And if I am crying
It's not because of you
It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine who you don't know who is dying
That's right, dying
These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I'm not crying
There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland
I'm not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
These aren't tears of sadness
They're tears of joy
I'm just laughing
I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we've reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife'
I'm not crying

Morning is mocking me

2 weeks of staying up as late as I want and sleeping in as long as my body allows.

fuck yes.

No more stumbling around the house in a haze of tiredness, bumping in to walls and knocking over photo frames and little ornaments and whatever else happens to get in my way.

No more trying to brush my teeth with a hairbrush, or mistaking my glass of water for cereal, or trying to pat maggie and instead make contact with a maggie shaped pillow, or nothing at all.

Bring it on, bitch.

New and Improved

As you may have noticed, pleasant dreams and other false comforts has changed.

Been remodelled. Altered in new and exciting ways.

You feelin the groove?

Cos I sure am.

I feel change in the air. and it comes in the form of patterned robots and a new font.

I'm feeling so excited, I might do something even more radical.

Like change the pillow assortment on my bed.

Or try a different brand of tea other than green and english breakfast.

Life is exciting when you open your mind to exciting things.

Like those flowers that stick to things.

Now thats exciting.

Hugs not Drugs

Today I sniffed my ten dollar note to try and see if there were any drugs on it but then I remembered I don't know what drugs smell like. Funny if I accidently got high.

Crying in alleyways is awkward but eating sundaes in Starbucks is fun.

I'm worryingly excited about the fact the Glenferrie Mcdonalds is finally renovating. Maybe I go there a little too much?

"He looks like he's not wearing any pants..."

You've Changed

For the better?

I know I was a massive loser in year 7. (I probably still am a massive loser, I just try harder now.) I know in year 7 I did totally uncool things and didn't experience anything and still went to the movies with my mum and bought so fresh cds.

But you wanna know something funny?

In year 7 I was happy.

Its funny how everyones insecure and depressed and worry about things all the time when on the outside they seem totally cool and stress free.

I envy people without realising they're more similar to me than I ever imagined.

Maybe we're not that different.

Sometimes when I try to go to sleep I get this tight, scary feeling in my chest from worrying too much and thinking my life is shit and everyone is having a better time than me, and i can't make it go away so I just lie there feeling inadequate and wishing life was like a movie with a happy ending and a plot you can understand and witty banter without awkward pauses.

Home is where the Heart is

Staying at home is fun.

So far, I've spent a pleasant while buying music with my $50.00 Itunes gift card, watching Whip It while drinking noodle soup, (whip it is an awesome movie. I do quite adore Ellen page,) and pretending I was in a film clip by playing Birds of Tokyo really loud and skating around the house in my socks, occasionally stopping to pick up Maggie and wave her around the room in my arms, as some sort of strange dance routine. I feel I'm on to something on this one.

Beats winter sports day, anyway.

ITS THAT TIME OF THE WEEK AGAIN!

IN AND OUTS WEEK!

whos excited! I know I am!

IN:

1. Miss Li: She's been around for ages, but I never knew who this super cool girl was until now. Shes got an awesome voice, kinda Laura Marling but not as folky, and she looks amazingly cool in person. You've probably heard her song 'Oh Boy' on that car ad.
2. Fringes: A few weeks in and I'm still diggin the fringe. It really adds a lot of 'oomph' to my face. It also means I don't have to style my hair ever to make it look interesting. I just give my trusty fringe a pat and he does the work. Or she. I'm open to all genders.
3. Seinfeld: Fuck, this show never gets old. I've been watching practically every week since I was like, 8, and I can still find episodes i've seen like 5 times hilarious. George makes me feel less like an overly thinking, annoying jerk and more sane and, ynow, less of a jerk.
4. The sky: The sky is cool. And it changes all the time. Like, one second it might be blue, and the next it's yellow or dark and stormy. It's like one of those digital photo frames, look at it for hours and the picture keeps changing.

OUT:

1. Possums: Fucking possums. Their sounds freak me out. You never know if they're actually a possum or something totally different, like 2 cats having some massive brawl, or a refrigerator. And there eyes freak me out. No animal should have eyes like that.
2. George Negus: You know the one, the old one on the 7pm project every monday? Well I knew this guy before he was on the 7pm Project. Back then, he was just another Journalist similar to my parents. Now, hes meant to be some weird cool witty guy? Lies. All lies. Hate to break it to you, people, but George isn't cool. Or paticularly interesting. And his facial hair isn't fun. At all.
3. Where the Wild Things Are: I saw the Ad's to this movie and thought it would be ridiclously cool/awesome/indie. Then I listened to the soundtrack and thought it was the most ridiculously cool/awesome/indie album ever. Then I bought a poster for the movie, cos the soundtracked rocked and so did the ads. Then I saw the movie. It's shithouse. But oh well, it's still a bloody good poster.
4. Katy Perry: Let me be the first to say that Katy Perry's new song is shit. I liked I kissed a Girl, and actually bought her first album, but 'California Girls' is crap. The lyrics are meaningless, the tune is so boring and bland I can't even remember how it goes, and it doesn't have any catchyness at all. Generally, I secretly like all the other chart songs, and quite happily sing along in my mind, but California Girls is just bad. And I thought she was slightly cool.

Good morning World!

Who needs new years to make new years resolutions?

I've made a resolution. I'm gonna go hang out at Adam and Erins all the time, or at least more, cos its like, 50x better than being at home with maggies barking and the eerie silence when I'm not talking to myself. Huh, that came straight outta left field, didn't it!

Being over there is rather fun, and Josh and Alicia (adam and erins 'chums') came over so I felt like I was part of an episode of friends. Cos, except for me, everyone was the right age and all couples and stuff. Except that didn't mean I wasn't still ross, cos ross is obviously the best and i wanted to be ross.

And Quinn wasn't even a freaky-crying-baby. I was there yesterday till like, 10, and Quinn only cried once cos Nelson the Cat came and sniffed his head in an aggresive manner.

I actually think Nelsons is feeling left out, cos I was talking to Josh yesterday and I turned over to see him on the table angrily eating Adams grapes and sort of glaring at everyone.

We all shared a cheery laugh over that one!

But, as in life, it wasn't all fun and games. Lil Quinn got his first Passport photo developed, and he looks like a deranged squashed extra terrestrial creature in it.

He looks like one of those freaky gross red babies that make you never want to have children. (Like the ones where you look at them and sort of squeak out, 'ohh, so cu-ute! while secretly wanting to cry.)

When Adam saw it, he was like, 'if I had seen that photo 8 months ago knowing it was our child, I would have told Erin to get an abortion.'

But don't worry, he was totally joking! Haha! Ahem..

RANDOM SONG LYRICS!

'Oh boy you make me feel like oh boy you make me feel like no boy can make me feel like you. I really really want you.'

By the way, did you know ellen used to have a sitcom? It's called Ellen, and its really quite amusing. Watch it sometime.

This Wouldn't Happen in Australia

Ahh, America, what a crazy place.

Alvin Greene- My new favourite American.

'Quite frankly I don't know why he won. I think it was because his name was first on the ballot paper. I was asking people that voted for him, and they had no idea who he was.'

The Clique- Good Book Peoples

I'm gonna be amazingly cool and use an idea from a 'gossip girl' like book I read the other day, The Clique.

*Note- Don't watch the movie- it's crap.

This'll be a regular segement for my blog every week, (yes I have segments.) which I'm sure will prove to be an exciting breath of fresh air every Tuesday!!

IN

• 1. Christina Aguilera- I know she's 'mainstream' and 'overly pop' but shes an amazing woman, you harsh critics. Yeah, I used to think she was another Britney Spears along with the rest of society, but her songs are filled with amazing emotion ('I am beautiful,' anyone?) and her new album just came out! (rush out to buy it guys, its great!) Plus, she had an abusive father, so your kind of expected to love her, or you look like a jerk.
• 2. Marshmallows- Especially when they are toasted by the fire- I'd forgotten how ridiculously perfect that tastes. However, when toasting them by the bonfire, I'd advise on using a massive stick, to make sure you dont accidently burn off your face, as I almost did.
• 3. Power Ballads- Okay. I'll admit it. I love power ballads. Any power ballad. Even those weird opera ones in Italian and Miley Cyrus's powerful numbers, (specially the climb.) Any song where it is appopriate to wave a candle in the air or jump up and down screaming a variation of 'YES, YAY LIFE!,' 'GO WOMEN,' or 'LETS ABOLISH ABUSIVE FATHERS,' give me goosebumps and causes my throat to close up in passion.
• 4. Modern Family- Need I explain? This show is fucking awesome

OUTS

• 1. Maggie- For those who don't know, this is my dog. And recently, every time I've cried out her name and tried to grab her by the torso to give her a good old fashioned hug and a half, she's hastily ran away or snarled aggresively. Thinking of trying counselling?
• 2. Germany- Hey, Nazi lovers, ever heard of the mercy rule? Way to crush our soccer dreams, guys. And I had to get up at 4.30 in the morning to watch it. Not cool.
• 3. Pythagoras- Okay, so I know your intelligent and a mathematical genius and all, but could you possibly have kept your theorum to yourself? I have a maths exam and your weird little theories make my head want to explode.
• 4. AAMI- Thanks to this crazy little company, I've had your stupid rendition of 'what about me' stuck in my head for about 60 hours straight. Your ads make me want to cry.

The walls.... They're closing in...

This morning I was having a shower when I looked at the tiles and had a disturbing revelation.

The tiles lining the shower look exactly like Madam Blancs freaky-vein feet.

All blue and veiny on a flesh pink background.

I couldn't get out of the shower fast enough.

Also, last night was... kinda awesome.

Bonfires are fun, especially when there are certain people there.

'come to our house to watch the soccer, theres icecream. and alcohol. whichever...'

Fuck Family, ....right?

I came into this weekend thinking it was gonna be shit and I was gonna wanna cut myself with like, some massive jagged knife by the end of it.

But.

I don't know, today at lunch I just sort of, had that funny flippy heart thing where its like, 'hey i like where I am and I like what I'm doing and for now, at least, I'm happy.'

Cos maybe most of the time I hate my parents and my cousins are irritating little flys and my aunty and uncle are conservative racists but, every so often this window opens, and this little wave of love for them washes through me.

It was a massive, epic lunch, with me, my 3 cousins, 2 aunts and uncle, grandma, mum and dad, my brother and his girlfriend, their baby quinn, and about twenty dogs randomly walking under the table, and we had like, 5 roasts going at once.

It was busy, and hectic, and everyone was talking at once, and there was constant shouting and laughter and exasperated sighs, but it was.... right.

It was happy, and joyful, and there were constants cries of 'MOLL-YYY, get OUT from under the table,' and, 'LACHIE, stop waving your turkey leg at everyone,' and babies and roasted chickens were getting passed over the table, but nobody was angry, or stressed, just content with the knowledge that nothing can be perfect, you just have to make do with what you have.

And i remember looking around the table at one point, with Lachie desperately trying to hack into his mountain of meat, and Fergus singing 'I kissed a girl' while pouring his 5th glass of cordial, and Lizzie trying patientlly to explain to Amelia that it wasn't, pass the turkey round the table, and Grandma sitting there eyeing everyone off, and thinking to myself, maybe I shouldn't be trying to isolate myself with my family, they might be the best thing I have in my life.

And then thinking, gee, this carrot really does taste like shit.

Oh well, inspirational moments never last that long, right?

Opinions won't keep you warm at night

Only the coolest of kids have long song titles.

Amiright?

Hopefully tomorrow shall be fun.

My brother is coming over for the 'big bonfire' and so are some other teenagers from town.

Lets just pray my cousin doesn't continue to say 'mammoth' and laugh in that weird, deep but childish voice that confuses the shit out of me.

In other irrelevant news, my other cousin Amelia has been brainwashed, I daresay.

Before she was mocking the chinese, (cos there accents are so funny HAHAHAHA ching chong ... :I) and she keeps going on about how she thinks her singing teacher is gay.

Yeah bro, she gets personal singing lessons, cos shes perfect like that.

Eventually I was like, who cares if he's gay anyway, gays have more fun, riiiightt?

And then she looked at me like I had just said I was going to crap in the middle of federation square on a busy afternoon.

Maybe I will, just to freak her out.

Conservative people should go back to the 1800's where they belong. They can talk about knitting and how cool George Bush is there.

Wait a sec, what?

So it seems I have started a cool trend.

The last time I tried to start a trend was when I tried to be cool by wearing thick woollen socks with sandals.

It didn't work.

But this time, I've been randomly awesome.

Cool.

So today was fun.

There was a lot of stuff at the retro star sale that made me confused/scared (freaky black eyed doll t-shirts, anyone?) but there was some cool stuff too.

I bought black rimmed nerd glasses.

I'm gonna wear them soon and try to pretend I actually need them. Please God, fuck up my vision a little so I can get real ones.

And now I'm at my Grandmas farm with my cousins, which is, ughhh, underwhelming.

Conversation seems to revolve around the mundane, i.e 'mary buying marjorie a scarf while she was in europe, or, 'cecily having afternoon tea and not inviting joe.'

Which is irritating, cos i really don't give a fuck.

Grandmas been staring at my sex pistols shirt with a look of distain, and I feel like i should take it off or something.

Fuck this is awkward.

RUN! RUN! RUN!

Worrying truths that keep me awake

1. I wish I was part blind so I could wear thick black rimmed glasses.
2. When I was in primary school, I used to throw out my lunch because I was scared to tell my mum I didn't like sandwiches.
3. I like watching wizards of waverly place. and hannah montana. and sonny with a chance. and JONAS.
4. Even though I know smokings bad for you, I still think it looks hot on guys.
5. Sometimes, when I see a non white person, I imagine what they would look like if they were white.
6. Sometimes I grab my dog by the face and force her to make eye contact with me by shouting at her.
7. After I've had an 'off day,' I get into bed and read 'the day my bum went psycho' by Andy Griffiths
8. I create fantasies in my head of an imaginary romance with Luke Pritchard. I actually have a full storyline going.
9. I wanna move to Britain and be in a gang like the one from Skins. Even though they're fucked up and do drugs and stuff.
10. I wanna be in an indie band and mingle with rock stars. Even though I possess no musical ability.

This is no Bridget Jones

Your kinda really hot.

Like, when your not talking and being a little too 'I'm just a normal boy' for my liking, I can imagine you playing guitar in like, a field of flowers with plaits in your hair or something. Like, singing Xavier Rudd, or The Beatles or something and like, looking thoughtful.

Imagine. Yeah, thats what you'd sing.

I mean, I'm just guessing you do this, since I haven't had a conversation with you or whatever, and I'm pretty sure you don't know my name, but still, you're hot.

You probably know that, though, right?

I'm sure you get a lot of compliments on your attractiveness.

Lover please, do not fall to your knees, its not like I believe in everlasting love.

Why, when I think about it, you actually look a little like that attractive individual on the left. Theres something to ponder.

Theres not enough songs about squash

I know you're not cool looking.

Don't worry,

I don't mind.

You do karate moves on top of dumpsters.

that makes you cooler than 90% of the people I know.

Why do I bother, I don't know.

I'll turn off my radio,

day, after day,

the airwaves, are awash,

with songs of ones in love, and those who are out of,

theres just not enough songs about squash.

Hey, btw I hate you

So I bought an Arctic Monkeys Poster

I put it on my wall.

it had a picture of a stoned looking guy smoking on it.

she told me to take it down and asked me why i would buy something like that.

i said cos it was the arctic monkeys, and i love them.

she told me to take it down.

i took it down.

im now planning to move house into some little apartment somewhere.

hopefully with others, so i dont go insane or whatever.

i can put whatever shit i want on my walls then.

That solos really long, but its a pretty sound

This is how it works: You're young until you're not, you love until you don't, you try until you can't, you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh, and everyone must breathe, until their dying breath.

no this is how you works, you peer inside you self, you take the things you like, and try to love the things you took, then you take that love you made, and stick into some, someones elses heart, pumpin someone elses blood. and walk in arm in arm, you hope it dont get harmed, but even if it does, you'll just do it all again.

Yes, I have turned into one of those people that quote song lyrics.

Deal with it.

But why would i keep such good words in the limited packaging of a song?, I ask with no adequate response.

Yeah, I gotcha there, now you just go over in the corner and wallow in your self pity on that little wooden stool.

*satisfied nod*

Learning is fun.

Okay so I'm gonna be a massive nerd and write this post blog thingy about this book I'm reading.

But really its not a book, its more like a block of gold with words and wow that didnt make any sense at all.

and yet it was still awesome.

but seriously, you must bear with me, cos i promise it's like, the most amazingly cool book ever and otherwise I'd be blogging about something stupid, like my how eggs are making me nauseous, or i'd blurt out some random spontaneous thought.

old people look like lizards.

Its called chasers, and its about these 4 teenagers that are involved in this massive train crash thingy in new york, and they're like, the only survivors, and when they escape the train they find New york has been destroyed.

Like, there are all these buildings collapsed, and all this junk flying around, and they're are hundreds of dead bodies and the powers out so phones and internet and crap doesnt work.

And the streets are deserted, except for these weird people that dont talk and are constantly drinking stuff, and like 'grazing,' on human bodies and blood and water and stuff.

And they're really scary so these 4 teens like, can't go outside and are staying in this deserted apartment that is still standing.

And they're all freaked, because nobodys coming to help them and they're like, what if this is some massive attack and we're the only normal people left in new york?

Cos all these people have turned like, freaky.

BUT OMG its so amazingly good, Like I Am Legend, only better. And with less Will Smith.

Except I suspect he might make a suprise appearance somewhere around the 14th chapter.

Read it, peoples.

And we'll say Fuck Bush, and Fuck this War

So guess what?

If I was 18 this year, I would be voting for the greens.

W0w I'm exciting.

Cos today, I got this little green booklet that said greens on the front, and I laughed a little cos it was green and said green, and inside were all these interesting pictures and writing and stuff on why the greens are good.

And it turns out, they're pro gay marriage, pro environment (which makes sense, since they're green and all,) are all nice towards refugees, and they wanna help the aborigines.

And I mean, if they took that initiative to create a cute little booklet and put it under my door, then obviously they deserve my invisible vote. Excuse me while I write it on my invisible piece of paper with my invisible pen. (pause while I write i use the invisible stationary.)

okay we're good.

Also, my dunlops are getting too small, but I don't wanna buy a new pair cos they're always so white and new, like little neon signs. You could stick new dunlops on front of your cars and use them as headlights to save power. (that was a witty joke, in case you couldnt tell.)

Anyway, I have to go now and arrange my books into alphabetical order.

This is what I do on friday nights.

Our weapons were our instruments

Wanna see a ridiculously hot guy?

look above now.

Okay, so i have this theory about bands.

And its pretty much foolproof.

the theory is, that every band has to have at least one hot guy, one ugly guy, and one average looking guy.

It can change a little though, like there can be say, 4 ugly guys, one average guy and one hot guy (like in My Chemical Romance,) or there can be 2 hot guys, one average guy and one ridiculously ugly guy, (like in the kooks,) or there can be 1 cool looking guy that is hot cos hes cool looking and then 3 guys that look average, but upon closer inspection have some weird deformity,

like a massive chin or tiny little bug eyes.

Anyway, my theory is still pretty much 'hits the nail on the head,' like I secretly say sometimes when I hope nobodys listening.

BUTANYWAY.

its a ridiculously good theory.

So good, critics are saying its a theory rivaling evolution and scientology.

Wow. if that was a joke, I'm less funny than I thought.

HEY LOOK ITS RANDOM SONG LYRICS!! Our weapons were our instruments, made from a timber and steel. we never yielded to conformity but stood like kings, in a chariot thats running on our records.

The decades disappear like sinking ships

Is it just me, or have TV shows that used to seem ridiculously funny suddenly gotten... unfunny?
Like, I used to think SkitHOUSE was the most hilarious show on television, and I watched it the other day and suddenly it was like... bad.
As I thought to myself at the time, (quite wittily) it would be better named as 'shitHOUSE.'
Geddit? Like, shithouse..?
anyway.
Its kinda depressing. Like, what if next year the IT crowd is no longer funny? or jemaine and brett are nothing but two sad little new zealanders, instead of two sad little new zealanders that can sing and have witty one liners?
Also, I would like to attack that show 'Alive and Cooking' one dark night with a large, sharp chainsaw. Wait, are chainsaws sharp?
but seriously. Why not just call the show 'cooking.' Surely the human race is intelligent enough to understand that if you are cooking, you are automatically going to be alive as well.
Why not call it something more interesting, like, 'cooking, and wearing a fairly amusing hat!'
Now theres a good show.